When a man’s game skills outgrow his sense of entitlement and abundance, he’s in for some very pleasant and very unpleasant experiences. He’ll likely be pleased at the new quality of girls he can successfully attract, and then displeased when he loses a girl of this quality. It’s almost a recipe for oneitis. This happened to me recently. While in my most successful period in game ever, I went on a date with a girl that was a step above the girls who I normally manage to get out. I developed oneitis. Not a strong case of it. But nonetheless strong enough to make my mental boat rock quite a bit today, the day after I contracted it.
The whole thing started last week, as I was doing my daily daygame session. I’d been battling bad vibe the last couple of weeks, and to my disappointment, blowouts had become common again. I spotted Nadia (not her real name), as she walked past me just as I was walking over to say hello to my wing. She was wearing yoga pants, and was unusually curvy and athletic looking for an Asian girl. Fuck yeah. I waved to my wing, signalling that I’d do this set before coming to him. I ran in front of her and stopped her, her eyes sparkling instantly. Bingo! I ran a decent set, 7 minutes long, and took her number. I could tell she liked it and indeed, the texting went well and we scheduled a date for Saturday after some back and forth texting. She was a confident girl, which showed both in the set and in the texting. I confused this with disinterest (a shy asian girl who likes you generally complies with you and doesn’t challenge you), but continued forward like normal, which is always the right thing to do.
The days went by and I texted her every or every other day. I don’t usually text that often, but our natural thread of conversation didn’t die out and the banter was good. Also, I suspect me being too distant on text with girls I’ve had dates lined up with in the past has had bad effects, one time possibly being the cause of a cancellation. It can kill comfort if you’re too distant and unavailable.
Saturday arrives, and I decide to do something different for this date. Normally, I take the girl I date to two different venues. Venue 1, which is a fairly sober venue with bright lighting, where I usually will sit opposite her, and venue 2, which is dark, always alcoholic and has sofas where I can sit next to the girl and kiss close her. Previously, due to the slow-drinking nature of women, too much time had been spent in venue 1 and I’d found myself sinking into comfort quicksand because of the non-threatening environment and the physical distance between me and the girl. This time, with Nadia, I told her to meet me at a mall near venue 2. This mall has a foodcourt. A few minutes before her arrival, I went and ordered my food, so that when she arrived at the mall, I’d get her to come meet me in the foodcourt, with about 20 minutes left of eating. I did this for three reasons. Firstly, it shortened the amount of time I needed to spend in boring venue 1. Secondly, it put the decision over when we were to bounce to venue 2 entirely in my hands. Control is good. Thirdly, it made the date cheaper, as the food in the foodcourt is cheap and I don’t need to pay for any drinks like I would in my normal venue 1.
Nadia arrived in an all-black, short and tight dress. She looked sexy. In fact, she is one of the hottest girls I’ve ever dated up to this point. I could instantly see that she was into me. The frame was right from the start. She was reacting to what I said and laughed at all my jokes. I felt good, but at the same time, her beauty was affecting me. A couple of weeks back I’d had a date with a beautiful girl who worked as a saleswoman for expensive works of art. She had been the most “high-value” woman I’d ever been on a date with up until that point. This, coupled with the fact that I hadn’t gamed for a week when I went on the date with her made me very nervous, and my entitlement and “alphaness” were non-existent. That date went to shit. This one didn’t, and was a clear improvement, but still, the entitlement issue wasn’t completely solved, and I felt a slight sense of nervousness.
Nadia sat down as I was nonchalantly eating my Penang Assam Laksa, a delicious Malaysian dish. While talking to her I occasionally did some kino and spiked the conversation. After I finished eating, I told her “Let’s go,” and bounced her to venue 2.
I’d gone and made a reservation earlier that evening, and the host gave us a little round table in the corner of the bar. There was a sofa and a fauteuil, the sofa with its back towards the wall and the fauteuil on the side of the table. Geometry seldom lends itself well to written description, which is why I’ve spent many hours crafting this sophisticated illustration to help you understand the placement of the furniture in the venue:
I sat down in the sofa, Nadia in the fauteuil. I normally try to sit next to them from the start in venue 2, but sometimes, things don’t work out that way. However, if the girl is into you, it becomes easier to deal with small deviations from your original plan. She was leaning in towards me, and me towards her. I alternated this with leaning back towards the wall. We talked a great deal about her many tattoos. She had them on her feet, on her arms, and one, she told me, at the beginning of her ribs, near her back. All of this kept us out of comfort quicksand.
After we’d ordered some drinks I went to the bathroom. I did really have to go, but I realised while relieving myself that I could use this as an opportunity to smoothly escalate further. I was going to use it to sit next to her. I was remarkably nervous about this as I was walking back towards our table. “Fuck it,” “just do it,” and other self-motivational phrases went through my mind. When I reached our table, before sitting down, I told her “sit next to me,” gesturing for her to sit down in the sofa. She complied. Easy. Phew! I noticed that her black dress revealed her entire back. It was very sexy. The surprise, coupled with her smooth bronze skin, her strong but still feminine V-shape figure and her great muscle-to-fat ratio was exciting. I told her I could probably see her rib tattoo if I pulled her dress, and did so. Damn. I’m getting goose bumps thinking about it now.
We keep talking and I notice she’s totally cool with the proximity and me touching her. When I look into her eyes, she holds the eye contact. I go for the kiss, she smiles, and we kiss shortly, her ending it first. We kiss two more times in the venue, each time more passionately, with me consciously ending it first those times. I fractionate by leaning away from her, freezing her out slightly, and I notice her gravitating towards me when I do so.
Since this girl is one of the hottest I’ve ever dated, I found myself doing things that I normally wouldn’t do, and that I knew were detrimental to the seduction. For example, we started looking at pictures of food she had cooked and we started talking about cool places around Singapore and implying that we should go there together. Neither of these things are catastrophic on their own, but on the whole, I could feel the sex vibe slowly being replaced by the boyfriend vibe. I tried to recover as best as I could.
After I while I pulled, her putting up no resistance. She was comfortable with me. I told her something about drinking wine at my place. It’s routine for me at this point to just make up an excuse and pull. I usually tell the girl we are going to drink wine, watch a movie or that I’m going to play her a song on my now legendary wingman melodica.
We take a taxi and arrive at my place. I feel like I’ve lost the dominance over her slightly. The reasons are that I’m still slightly intimidated by her beauty as well as genuinely liking her and enjoying the date. This made me stray from my default modus operandi of enforcing my frame strongly on the girl, killing her momentum and making her react to me and never the other way around. Yes, it sounds psychopathic, but guess what, it works. Girls want a dominant man. Give the girl the frame and you’ll find that the lay will quickly start slipping out of your hands.
We get up to my place, and since we’d been talking about Scarface on the date (one of my favourite movies), I decide to put it on after pouring wine for us, completely oblivious to the fact that the movie, with its many violent scenes and dark theme, is NOT helpful for seducing a girl! 30 minutes in I find myself sitting next to Nadia while Tony Montana’s trusty friend is getting his arm and leg chain-sawed off, blood spattering into Tony’s face. Fuck. Try making out to that!
We decide to turn off the movie, and watch something else on the computer instead. By this point she’s started to shit test me for being a player. “How many girls have you brought up here?” “Do you always pick up girls in the street?” I agree and amplify, but I feel like I can’t keep my cool very well. At some point, she says something about her not being interested about something empty and just being one of many, many girls.
I freeze her out for a bit, and to my delight, she starts kinoing me by touching my leg. I escalate again, and we start making out on the bed, but it feels like she’s just decided that we’re not going to have sex. And she’s not as aroused as those girls who you know you’re going to have sex with normally are. I feel like I’m no longer in control.
It was my own fault. It was me who had let go of the reins. It was me who had gotten comfortable instead of focusing. It stung. I tried escalating one or two more times, and might have overdone it a bit, though not nearly as much as on earlier pulls. After rubbing her pussy through her dress and getting stopped when her moaning started to get intense, we sleep. Another mistake. I shouldn’t have let her stay over. Doing so rewards her withholding sex and further enforces the boyfriend vibe.
She’s a snorer, which makes it hard for me to sleep. Furthermore, I’ve developed a mysterious and severe stomach ache that’s getting increasingly worse. I flip her over to stop her snoring after being advised to do so by my wingman over WhatsApp. It works, and I fall asleep for an hour, before waking up with an even stronger stomach ache. I realise I won’t be able to tolerate her staying over. I want to deal with the pain alone, comfortable in my own bed. I tell her, and she gets a cab and leaves, leaving me alone with me stomach ache, and the sadness over having missed out on one of the hottest and nicest girls I’ve ever dated.