FIELD REPORT (Got out of the friend zone)

I had an instant date a couple of days ago with a Singapore girl. She was super awkward and shy but receptive to my kino (measuring her wrist size etc) so I number closed and texted with her. She tries to friend zone me over text. I get annoyed but when I see that she seems to want to meet me I decide “fuck it, there’s no loss in trying anyway”.

Hot enough to risk disappointment

I get slightly butthurt by her LJBF suggestion but decide to meet her anyway.

Here’s what happened on the date:
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She came to the date and even though she brought up the friends bullshit on the date too I could read from her facial expressions that she liked me. Also, she was wearing perfume, she had a skirt on, make-up, lipstick etc. Still, she was extremely non sexual. She would let me touch her but it was generally awkward and didn’t feel reciprocated at all. So my mind was a bit confused. One second I thought it was on, the other not. Randomly she brings up how this guy hit on her on the street, and how when she said nothing would ever happen between them, he’d just left her. This was a clue. We keep talking. It’s pretty awkward. I think, “this is going nowhere, fuck it” and said to go after this drink. She says “to where?” and looks at me. I start thinking to myself “Let’s just try to pull, you’ve heard about how Asians are awkward in public”. So I talk about playing music, and how I have this awesome melodica at home. I tell her I’ll play her a song on it under ONE condition which is that she has to clap when I’m done. She says okay, and I say that we should go. She says, “where’s your melodica, it’s not here”, I say “we’ll get it”, she says “from your place?” and I reply “yeah”. She smiles. Instead of waiting to see if she’s cool with it I just assume she is and go to pay the bill. This was super effective as I’m sure I would have gotten objections had I stalled.

We get to my place, on the way she asked if it’s dangerous for her to come. I told her about my tiger that might eat her. She said she likes tigers and I told her maybe she can tame him. Inside, she’s quite stiff. I play the melodica, she likes it I think. Then we watch some youtube clips and I have her sit next to me, holding my arm around her. Still pretty awkward. I call it out at some point, genuinely empathising and saying that I don’t want to make her uncomfortable and if she doesn’t fancy me I won’t be upset if she leaves. At one point I even go “do you want to just go? I won’t get mad.” The fact that she stayed made me feel better about continuing.

At one point I play the “stare into each others eyes while holding hands for 10 seconds game”. She can’t hold eye contact very well as she’s extremely shy. I try to kiss close her at the end of it. She’s really uncomfortable with it and says it’s too fast. I empathise, and back off. At least now I know I’m not friend zoned, or else she wouldn’t say it’s too fast, she’d say she’s not feeling it or something like that.

We decide to watch a movie. We sit next to each other for a while before I start moving her hair to the side. She pulls away. I start massaging her with my far hand on her shoulder and keeping the near arm around her. I go for it again and get it. She’s super clumsy and awkward but is into it. We keep kissing for a while, no tongue. Then in the movie, the adolescent actors go “have you evver french kissed? It’s with the tongue”, “no, want to try?”. And I look at her and say, “yeah let’s try it”. And we do. I start escalating harder, and get each one of her items of clothing off with 2 steps forward, 1 step back, down to her panties. She’s jerking me off and stuff but won’t blow me. Apparently I’m the second guy she’s ever been with. When I get to the panties I feel she has a pad under it. She’s menstruating and I try to push for sex anyway but resistance is quite strong. I make her cum using my leg and finish on her myself, creating a huge mess, haha.

Now here’s the interesting part. I asked her in the elevator on the way to her cab: “why did you say we should meet as friends?” and she replied “because this other guy just left me when I said nothing would ever happen”. So apparently, it was just her way of testing if I was only after sex. Weird test, because I’m still only after sex and wouldn’t have gone if I was sure about being friend zoned, but that was her reasoning. Not a notch but a fun experience! Besides I’m pretty sure I can see her again in a couple of days and seal the deal.

Lay report – Crazy Singaporean

It was a hot Singapore evening, and I’d set out to do yet another daygame session at Orchard Road, a 10 minute subway ride from where I was staying. Nervousness and anxiety from settling into a new city was still affecting my sets. “Do at least 15 sets today” I said to myself, knowing that the best remedy for anxiety is facing your fears head on and letting go of your thoughts, letting down your guard and letting your true self shine through, be it for approval or disapproval.

I did ten sets, most of them blowouts. I was having fun, but nervousness and fidgeting was messing me up. A couple more sets and I was starting to relax. Then I meet Zak, and walked with him for 2 minutes before seeing a gorgeous little Asian face walk by. I turned around, and front stopped her like I was in a slow motion film. We chatted, and she seemed sceptical at first, maintaining a safety distance of at least 1 metre, but starts getting into it after a while. I notice she’s not wearing a bra, with the contours of her breasts showing clearly under a thin t-shirt. She has a native sounding American accent, although she tells me she’s Singaporean. She’s an art student, and shows me her paintings on her instagram. They’re intense and vulgar, as if they were drawn by a mental patient. One of them depicted a girl masturbating, everything showing. I said “is that a self portrait?” and she responded “yeah, sometimes”. She asks me if I’m with friends. I said I was with my friends but he’s a big boy and can take care of himself. I probe her logistics a bit, she doesn’t seem to be up to much. I sense it’s on. I say something along the lines of “Listen _____, I have a spare 10 minutes, if you have a spare 10 minutes, let’s go for a quick coffee.” She is reluctant, but I lead and take her with me. We get a coffee and I realise I’m a little off my game, since I haven’t been on a date for a while. I focus on relaxing, enjoying the moment and having fun. I notice her eyes light up each time I tell a personal story off of a subject we’re talking about. The connection is alright, but the interaction is a bit boring. But she seems into me, and I keep going forward. I do my normal kino routines of thumb wrestling, looking into each others eyes without laughing, examining tattoos, rings etc. She’s totally comfortable with touch.

She is 18 years old, but acts like she’s lived twice as long. Not in a mature or stuck up way, but in a dark and blasé way. She tells me she does drugs. Crystal meth. She pops a Xanax pill, which she says helps her calm down. At one point, she seemed distant, almost like she’s in a dream. One of her many tattoos is a circle on her inner forearm. She says it’s a symbol for life. I notice weird circular little scars next to and inside the circle. They look like somebody put smarties candies under her skin. Cigarette burns. I think I notice scars from cutting as well. The conversation tends to take really dark paths which I feel is making me uncomfortable. She is really open about her problems, about how she’s lost a lot of weight because she’s had a holiday where she’s relapsed into taking drugs. It’s unsettling. A tinge of guilt enters my mind as I routinely plot how I’m going to get her to my bedroom. I decide I need to have empathy. Not to get the lay but because it’s simply the right way to be. I put my hands on her soft forearms and say “I feel bad for you!”, looking at her like you’d look at a Syrian child war victim, but with a smile to not make it too melodramatic. She laughs, and the awkward tension is released. I feel okay to continue escalating. I realise I haven’t researched any good date venues near my place. I do the best I can and say “Let’s go for a walk around *the name of the area I live in*”. She says okay. We compare shoe sizes as we get up and I tell her how much smaller her feet are than mine. She says “You’re feet aren’t THAT big. You what that means right? Is it true?”. Shit test detected. I tell her “I don’t wanna brag, but it’s 50 inches. We laugh and joke about it. What’s at *the name of the area I live in* by the way? I decide it’s not fair to lie. “It’s quite pretty, and plus I live there so it’ll be easier for me to get home, haha”. She gets it. Apparently her art school is there.

We arrive at my area and I start to think about what to do. I decide that it’s too early to just pull her home. The energy was too low from the boring subway ride and to bring her home now could make things backfire. I decide we should go for a drink, and find a nearby place on google maps. We spend 15 minutes trying to find the god damn place, before we give up. Luckily, the vibe has improved now. I say “Hey, I got some wine at my place, let’s just go there.” She complies easily. This is not a girl who judges herself. Rare, but helpful. We go to my place, into my tiny little room. She sits on one side of the bed, and I make sure to lean back on the other side and let her come to me. After a huge parodical build up I show her my non existent Chinese flute skills, before we play Creep by Radiohead together, her singing and me playing my melodica. Now we’re sitting close to each other on the bed, and we’re talking. I put my hands on her thighs as I’m speaking. It feels totally natural. She shows me a sexy collar that apparently she always carries around in her hand bag. I ask if I can put it on her, and she says, in a begging voice, like a dog whimpering “Not too hard”. Fuck yeah I think, putting it on. I lean back again, and notice she’s getting closer to me. The numerous times I’ve over escalated have taught me a better balance now between on and off, push and pull. It’s about not being afraid of pulling the trigger, which in turn causes you not to rush it, and makes her feel like you are non needy and confident. She leans over me and shows me a massage technique of her moms. It consisted of running your fingers from the top of the other persons forehead through their hair, while maintaining really high pressure. It felt awesome. I told her I’d do it on her, but she has to lie down first. She closes her eyes as I do it, and I, savouring the sexual tension we’ve built between each other, kiss her. Clothes start coming off and magic ensues. She even put on a super kinky playsuit that she also had in her bag (wtf).