How to open in daygame

I’ve been experimenting with different ways to open in the field lately, and it’s now time to share my conclusions about what makes a good open with you guys.

First of all, what is the open?

The open is the part of the interaction where you go up to the girl and initiate a conversation. It is the first part of the interaction where you make your first impression. “The first impression is the last impression” is a popular quote, and there is a lot of truth to it. The point is that an interaction that starts off well has a massively higher chance of ending well than an interaction that starts terrible. So open RIGHT!

"How can I bang this girl?"

“How can I bang this girl?”

Now, what constitutes a good open? Here are some core principles that I adhere to. I’ve found that whenever I execute properly on these, the set almost always opens well.

  1. Good posture

    Keep your back straight and generally lean back as you open. This is obviously helpful throughout the interaction, but it is critical on the open. Look at some Jon Matrix infields for a good example of this. Notice how he deliberately leans back, which prevents the set from blowing up even though he tends to stand very close to his target.

  2. A genuine, big smile

    You should smile BEFORE you open, WHILE you open and SHORTLY AFTER you open. If you fail to smile on the open, you’re going to fight an uphill battle the rest of the set, as the girl is going to doubt that you are confident and that you have good intentions. Remember what Mystery once said: “What is the greatest sign of an alpha male? The smile.”

    A word of cation: don’t forget to smile in the rest of the interaction, but realise that it’s not natural to smile constantly throughout the set. It’s try hard. You will need to challenge and qualify the girl to make your set solid.

  3. Getting her attention from a distance

    Address the girl with an o1* when you are within 2 metres from her. If you open her from the front, show early that you want to speak with her, and address her as soon as your eyes meet, even if she is far ahead of you. This shows the girl two things. The first is that you are comfortable with taking up space, which is an alpha male trait. The second is that you are to be trusted. A pickpocket wouldn’t try to get her attention from a distance. Opening from a distance shows that you are proud of what you are doing and she will respect that.

  4. A clear and relaxed voice

    This is important for the same reasons as point number 3. You need to show that you’re not afraid to be heard and convey your message. Practice voice projection if you are having problems with this.

  5. Planting your feet

    After you’ve delivered your o1, plant your feet clearly to show the girl that you want her to stop.** This is important regardless of whether you do the side stop or the front stop. If you fail to execute on this, the girl is going to walk past you or away from you, and you won’t gain her respect.

  6. Waiting for their attention before you start talking

    After you’ve delivered your o1 and planted your feet, you need to wait for her full attention before you start talking and delivering your o2***. Doing it at any point before that is going to result in her not hearing it or you coming off as a guy who is not used to be listened to.

  7. Relax
  8. This one takes a lot of practice. A good method for achieving relaxation is to simply force yourself to stop fidgeting and to relax the muscles of your body. With time, your mind will follow. Being relaxed is a very alpha sign, as it shows that you can handle pressure. Also, this helps the girl to relax as your relaxed state will transfer onto her.

  9. Eye contact

    Look into her eyes throughout the open. It conveys honesty and confidence.

Do these things right and you will see that your blowouts will turn into excited girls and good responses. Also, it will make the whole process of daygame more fun. Also, realise that these principles aren’t just applicable to daygame, but to nightgame as well as life in general.

Now get out there and apply this!

* o1 stands for opener number 1 and is a phrase such as “hey” or “excuse me”, used to grab a girl’s attention.
** Some guys walk with the girl in the set instead of stopping her. This should only be done if a girl absolutely won’t stop for you (maybe she’s genuinely in a hurry) and walking with her is your only chance. Realise that this looks weak and don’t do it when you don’t have to.
*** Opener number 2. This is going to be something along the lines of “This might sound a bit crazy but I literally just saw you and thought you looked really nice”.

Swedish Girls vs. Polish Girls

sweden poland flags

After two weeks in a Polish town dedicated entirely to picking up girls, I’ve noticed some distinct changes between Polish girls and the Swedish girls of my soon not-to-be hometown of Stockholm.

  1. Polish girls are more pleasant

    If I was to choose a random Polish girl or a random Swedish girl of equal hotness to go on a date with, I would choose the Polish girl. The reason for this is simply that Polish girls have great personalities. They are confident, feminine and have a great sense of humour. Compare this to the average Swedish girl, who (unless she’s drunk) is stiff, masculine and has no sense of humour.

    Polish girls have an easier time of talking to strangers and are generally more social. With Swedish girls, you will often have to assume the burden of the conversation for a longer time before they are comfortable enough to invest in it.

  2. Polish girls are girls. Swedish girls are men.

    When you open a Polish girl, she will show you that she understands the game of seduction. If you do a weak approach, she will punish your lack of masculinity and blow you out. If you do a strong approach, she will smile at you, assume her feminine role in the interaction and possibly shit test you to see if you are genuine. In other words, the feedback girls give is clear in Poland, which makes it a great learning ground for game.

    Swedish girls in daygame are the most non-feminine I have ever met, which makes seducing them challenging. Much of this is simply because many Swedish girls are not comfortable in a feminine role and don’t know how to play their part in seduction.

  3. Sweden has hotter girls

    Say what you want about the lacking personalities, but the girls of Stockholm are some of the hottest I have ever seen. Nowhere can you find as many tens (if you are into tall blondes). Polish girls are not ugly, but you won’t find those fairytalelike angels that frequent the streets of Stockholm’s posh areas.

  4. Swedish girls have no slut defence

    Swedish girls are taught from childhood that sex is something they should be proud of. This greatly reduces issues such as slut defence and LMR that are significant in Poland, which has a more conservative culture.

Lessons from Poland

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve documented most sets I’ve done here in Poland either on video or audio. As the trip is coming to an end, here is a summary of the things I’ve decided to work on from looking/listening to my sets.

  1. Smile early, challenge later

    In order to win the trust of a girl, you have to smile! Not smiling makes you come off as a scary man who the girl would never sleep with, even if she might be attracted to your unreactiveness. The biggest focus on smiling should be put in the very beginning of the interaction, but it is also important to not forget to smile further into the interaction even though you can leave room for challenging etc.Once you have the trust of the girl, challenging her is a very useful tool for showing her that you are non needy and that you have standards for the people you meet. It’s crucial not to challenge the girl too early, as she will simply be unable to handle it. Also, she doesn’t have a reason to handle it unless you have provided value in the interaction already.
  2. Assume the burden of the interaction

    In the beginning of the interaction, YOU HAVE TO TALK. Provide the meat of the conversation. Don’t expect the girl to talk. Don’t ask too many questions. Most girls are simply not capable of assuming the burden of the conversation in the beginning of the set. It doesn’t mean that they are not interested in you or that they don’t have time to talk to you, it just means that they are not comfortable with you yet. If you happen to ask the girl a question and she is unable to answer it, recognise that and answer her question for her, for example with a cold read. KEEP TALKING until she gets relaxed enough to contribute to the interaction. THEN comes the time for putting pressure on her.

  3. Have masculine body language

    Keep your back straighter than you think is necessary, especially in the beginning in the interaction. Keep your head up high, and avoid bringing it down. Conveying higher value through body language is easy if you commit to it.

  4. Get to know the girl (run a longer set than you think is necessary)

    Once you’ve reached hook point with the girl, it is very important that you don’t just take her number and leave. A number taken without letting the girl invest WILL flake. Stay in the set for longer than you think is necessary, ask the boring questions with the occasional spikes in between. Get to know some facts about her. Tell her some about yourself. Remember though, that this is done LATE in the interaction. In the beginning, it’s all about the flirting.

  5. Be persistent

    If a girl tells you she has to go, say “One more thing before you go”. Often girls will say they have to go because they are not comfortable enough with you. If you notice they are pulling away, the key is to execute on point number 2 in order to give them a reason to stay with you.

The importance of FLOW (+infield audio)

We’ve been filming a lot during our Poland trip. Our daily routine for the first few days consisted of filming each other doing around 15 sets and then analysing it in the evening. This analysing mindset got me massively into my own head, and actually taught me an important lesson.

 

There is a time for reflection and a time for execution.

 

When learning any skill, it is necessary to reflect and learn from mistakes in order to improve. But when it’s time to execute, you must put your entire focus on the execution, or else you will get stuck in your head and become unable to react properly to what’s actually going on around you. So what I learned was that in order to actually record good infield videos to properly analyse later, it is necessary to entirely forget about the fact that you are being filmed while you’re doing it. You must go with the flow and let go of the will to create a good infield video.

I found this out when, after a day full of blowouts and shitty vibe, I went out to the main square alone, with just a sound recorder in my pocket, deciding that I would just try to have as much fun as possible and act as free as I could. The difference was dramatic. Blowouts became fewer and didn’t affect me as much, and interactions became spontaneous and magical. My fourth set was with a petite Ukrainian girl who I got on an instant date and ended up making out in the park with. Here’s the infield:

Why and how you HAVE to be challenging with girls

Everyone likes a challenge. It’s ingrained in our DNA. The rare is hard to come by and therefore treasured, the common is neglected. You as an asset on the Sexual Market is no different. Making yourself known as someone of higher value is a key concept in game.

In daygame, most guys starting out are not nearly as challenging as they should be. They are in the seller mentality instead of the buyer mentality, and thus reflect inherent neediness. This is the biggest attraction killer of them all, because it conveys lower value in the clearest way imaginable.

To be an attractive man, you must be a CHALLENGE to girls. Here are some principles to abide by:

  1. Reward her only when she has earned it.

    This is simple in theory, but forgotten by many in the field. Realise that you giving her positive emotions for free isn’t going to get you into her panties. Constantly judge the girl according to your own standards. Reward good behaviour or accomplishments, and punish bad ones.

  2. Put her on the spot.

    If she tells you she studies psychology, ask her why with a slight frown and steady eye contact. Then listen to the answer and respond with your true point of view, no filter. If she asks you were you are from, tell her and then ask her if she knows something about your hometown, in a way that shows you are expecting her to want to impress you.

  3. Don’t change your opinion in fear of falling out of her favour.

    Be willing to walk away at any moment in the interaction. No girl is valuable enough for you to suck up to her. You are a man who lives by his own rules and forms his own opinions.

  4. Be emotionally unreactive to her.

    Avoid going “Wow!” or “Oh my god!” at anything a girl says. The best is to act in a way like you’ve seen and heard it all before. This doesn’t mean to be unengaged or disinterested in the conversation. It simply means being a man who’s not blown away easily by anything a girl does.

  5. Lean back

    It’s amazing how much a tweak in your body language can do. Lean back, and NEVER LEAN IN to the girl. Abiding by this principle will help you immensely as the girl will instinctively feel that you are high value.

 

Practice these behaviours and you will see them make a dramatic change in your results. Girls will like you more simply because you have given them the impression that you are a hot commodity that is valued.

Gym + game (gaming strip club promoters and another Polish instant date)

Yesterday, my wing here in Poland put me through a gruelling workout in the morning. I remembered the bad effects of training on my vibe from the days I used to go to MMA practice and then daygame right after. The physical exhaustion would kill my vibe making me unable to run good game. Still, I thought my increased experience in the game would make me able to handle being tired in the field.

My first sets were good, I managed to number close a cute girl who spoke almost no English. She was dressed as a bohemian with her ash-blonde hair tied up like a pineapple on the top of her head. I told her she looked like a hipster. She had no idea what I was talking about. I told her we could have a Google-translate date.

After some other decent interactions things started to go downhill. I forgot to smile, my stop became clumsy and my vibe turned to shit. After doing a total of ten sets I decided to take a break. I was filming my wing doing his daygame and meanwhile focused on relaxing and having fun.

Day turned into evening, and at one point one of the strip club promoters that terrorise the main square came up to us. She had a seductive vibe and gave the impression of a hot brothelkeeper. As her eyes met mine, I gave her a big smile, which looked like it made her pussy tingle. She could see my intent, and even though hers was to take me into her club, I could see her feminine reaction to my masculinity.

She didn't look this old

She didn’t look this old

I told her I’d go into her club if she’d dance for me, standing close to her as I said it. After some convincing she told me “Okay, I’ll dance for you for 25 euros”. I declined the offer, saying I believed in real love and that real love should be free. At last, she left to try to get some other guys in her club. Looking back, I could have probed the logistics better, finding out when she got off work to try and set up a meeting then.

I was feeling the joy of the game again, and decided to give it another go. After a quick blowout, I stumbled upon a girl dressed up like she was going to do her laundry. Not the sexiest outfit, but I decided she was hot enough to be approached anyway. Upon stopping her, I saw that her cardigan was barely hiding two big well formed breasts. After an incredibly awkward set (that we caught on tape) I bounced her to an instant date at a nearby bar. Slowly, I began establishing comfort with her. Having learned my lesson from the previous instant date I did, I decided not to over escalate and take things in a pace she was okay with. A key mindset that helped me was to only escalate in a way that’s not going to meet too much resistance. When I felt like she was going to accept it, I told her to show me her rings and started holding her hands. I didn’t try to kiss close her without thinking she was ready for it, or try too many times with any sort of escalation. I told her I could show her some cool videos of me playing the guitar at my place, but she declined. I decided I was not going to get the same night lay, took her number and walked with her for a bit before saying goodbye.

Polish girls seem substantially more difficult to pull than Swedish girls. Swedish girls have minimal slut defence which makes it easier for a PUA to escalate once he has attraction. Polish girls are easier to attract but harder to escalate on. Stay tuned as I search for a way into Polish pussy…

Poland report 1 (Stats + Instant date with big assed Kinga)

Me and my friend have decided to go to Poland, namely Wroclaw, for an extended daygame vacation. Male to female polarity is strong here. Women are women, men are men. What a breath of fresh air compared to Stockholm!

We arrived on Saturday four days ago, and we’ve been taking action from day one, doing 15-20 sets a day.

Game here has not been as easy as I had previously thought. Yes, girls give many IOI’s, and polish men are not that handsome, but evidently, the game is still the game. Cold approach pickup will never be easy, it’s a grind where the most resilient and intelligent will succeed.

The stats so far:

Sets done: 55
Numbers collected: 6 (3 responded and engaged in a text conversation)
Facebooks collected: 1
Instant dates: 1

Most of the numbers collected have turned out to be flakes. They were short sets where I didn’t manage to get the girl to invest enough and went for the number just for the heck of it. Yes, the number you get by doing that is often useless, BUT you never know if one of them eventually materialises into a date. If the set is coming to an end, and you feel the slightest chance of getting the girls number, take it. There’s no loss in it, only potential success.

The highlight of the trip so far is yesterday’s instant date. I had done ten sets out of which an astounding EIGHT where blowouts, and two where bad sets that I really didn’t enjoy doing. My vibe was shit, I was anxious, I stopped smiling. It was a downward spiral of negativity. Funnily enough, these state crashes often lead to improvement and greatness, once you accept rock bottom and regain your Eckhart Tolle-ian consciousness. I distanced myself from the set and stopped taking it seriously, no longer taking a failed set as a blow to my self esteem. Then this young girl walked by, looking at me with her big, brown polish eyes. I ran up to her, making my usual front stop with one important tweak. As I circled around her to face her, I made sure to lean back. I had failed on doing this right in all of my previous sets, and the slight leaning in had created a dynamic where it looked like I was trying to get into the girl’s party, as opposed to inviting her to my party. This worked wonders and after some minutes of talking, I bounced her to an instant date. She was studying something along the lines of fitness and nutrition and was writing diet plans for clients during the summer. Her ass was big and juicy, she told me she trained almost every day and did a lot of squats. “Bingo!”, I thought.

We had tea, and started holding hands after a while. I was trying hard not to get into my own head, as

Girl with strong forebrain

Girl with strong forebrain

I hadn’t been on a date in a long time. At one point during the date, I sat down next to her, and she was cool with it. It was a cold day and I was shivering, and she was holding my hand with both of hers to make it warm, eager to grab it again after I’d free it to make some gestures adding to the stories I was telling her. But I felt her slightly resisting my escalation. At one point she asked me: “So what do you like to do when you drink tea?”. I didn’t fully understand her question, but told her I like to kiss cute Polish girls when I drink tea, looking at her with a smile. She objected. I said: “Fine”, and carried on talking, backing off a bit to not seem needy. After a while, we got up and started walking towards my house. I said “I live a bit further up ahead”, and was walking with her hand in mine. Upon reaching my door, I told her to come with me up and have a look. She got a strange look in her eyes, and said no. There was no persuading her to come with me up. I decided to take her with me for a walk. Then followed many failed kiss attempts. There was chemistry, and it seemed like she liked me but had somehow decided not to let me kiss her. Frustrating! After walking around the parks of northern Wroclaw I took her number (which she gave to me hesitantly), walked her to her tram and went to see my friend.

 

 

I believe what created the strong resistance in the girl was me verbalising what I wanted from her (by telling her I wanted to kiss her). This set of her female defence mechanisms and alarms. Also, the nervousness I had which led to clumsy and unintelligent escalation could have ruined some of her attraction for me, denying me the fast sex that I’m after. Still, it was a well executed set, and we’ll see whether I’ll see her again or not.

Welcome!

What’s up guys,

Welcome to my pickup blog!

What to expect from the blog

This blog will take you with me through my pickup journey, and will show my evolution as a pickup artist. I’ve been doing game seriously for almost 2 years, so naturally, this blog is going to show you my improvement and me figuring out and applying different concepts of the game. It will contain both successes and failures, suffering and joy.

I’ll post original infield videos and my thoughts on pickup, both in video and text format.

My story

I grew up incredibly shy and with very low self esteem. Getting girls was never part of my reality and I was incredibly risk-averse. Intense anxiety periods followed me throughout my childhood and even adult life. So naturally, handling my own mental state as well as trying to figure out what I was doing wrong in social situations became an important mission. Anyone who has done pickup knows that these are fundamentals of the art.

I started dabbling in pickup, and slowly, it became an obsession. Nothing I had done before had felt so meaningful and rewarding. Even though I was scared stiff most of the times, I came back to try to succeed again and again.

In October 2014, I started going out a lot in my hometown of Stockholm, mostly for daygame. In the course of a year I did approximately 2000 approaches (yes, I counted them), and started to learn the basics of the game, going from confusion to a sense of orientation.

Right now, I’m approximately 3500 approaches in, and my focus is daygame. I’m currently planning a move to London where I will work a day job to pay the bills and then practice my pickup skills the rest of the time.

 

Stay tuned 😉