I’ve been experimenting with different ways to open in the field lately, and it’s now time to share my conclusions about what makes a good open with you guys.
First of all, what is the open?
The open is the part of the interaction where you go up to the girl and initiate a conversation. It is the first part of the interaction where you make your first impression. “The first impression is the last impression” is a popular quote, and there is a lot of truth to it. The point is that an interaction that starts off well has a massively higher chance of ending well than an interaction that starts terrible. So open RIGHT!
Now, what constitutes a good open? Here are some core principles that I adhere to. I’ve found that whenever I execute properly on these, the set almost always opens well.
- Good posture
- A genuine, big smile
You should smile BEFORE you open, WHILE you open and SHORTLY AFTER you open. If you fail to smile on the open, you’re going to fight an uphill battle the rest of the set, as the girl is going to doubt that you are confident and that you have good intentions. Remember what Mystery once said: “What is the greatest sign of an alpha male? The smile.”
A word of cation: don’t forget to smile in the rest of the interaction, but realise that it’s not natural to smile constantly throughout the set. It’s try hard. You will need to challenge and qualify the girl to make your set solid.
- Getting her attention from a distance
Address the girl with an o1* when you are within 2 metres from her. If you open her from the front, show early that you want to speak with her, and address her as soon as your eyes meet, even if she is far ahead of you. This shows the girl two things. The first is that you are comfortable with taking up space, which is an alpha male trait. The second is that you are to be trusted. A pickpocket wouldn’t try to get her attention from a distance. Opening from a distance shows that you are proud of what you are doing and she will respect that.
- A clear and relaxed voice
This is important for the same reasons as point number 3. You need to show that you’re not afraid to be heard and convey your message. Practice voice projection if you are having problems with this.
- Planting your feet
After you’ve delivered your o1, plant your feet clearly to show the girl that you want her to stop.** This is important regardless of whether you do the side stop or the front stop. If you fail to execute on this, the girl is going to walk past you or away from you, and you won’t gain her respect.
- Waiting for their attention before you start talking
After you’ve delivered your o1 and planted your feet, you need to wait for her full attention before you start talking and delivering your o2***. Doing it at any point before that is going to result in her not hearing it or you coming off as a guy who is not used to be listened to.
- Eye contact
Look into her eyes throughout the open. It conveys honesty and confidence.
Keep your back straight and generally lean back as you open. This is obviously helpful throughout the interaction, but it is critical on the open. Look at some Jon Matrix infields for a good example of this. Notice how he deliberately leans back, which prevents the set from blowing up even though he tends to stand very close to his target.
This one takes a lot of practice. A good method for achieving relaxation is to simply force yourself to stop fidgeting and to relax the muscles of your body. With time, your mind will follow. Being relaxed is a very alpha sign, as it shows that you can handle pressure. Also, this helps the girl to relax as your relaxed state will transfer onto her.
Do these things right and you will see that your blowouts will turn into excited girls and good responses. Also, it will make the whole process of daygame more fun. Also, realise that these principles aren’t just applicable to daygame, but to nightgame as well as life in general.
Now get out there and apply this!
* o1 stands for opener number 1 and is a phrase such as “hey” or “excuse me”, used to grab a girl’s attention.
** Some guys walk with the girl in the set instead of stopping her. This should only be done if a girl absolutely won’t stop for you (maybe she’s genuinely in a hurry) and walking with her is your only chance. Realise that this looks weak and don’t do it when you don’t have to.
*** Opener number 2. This is going to be something along the lines of “This might sound a bit crazy but I literally just saw you and thought you looked really nice”.